 | Networking Skills: Joining In | It can be daunting at first ... | Posted on: 25/03/2015 By: Jacky Sherman |
The very first networking event I attended took me right back to my teenage years. We moved from East Africa to Norwich and I was spectacularly unsuccessful at breaking into established friendship groups. I didn't know how to join in ...
This may resonate with you when you're networking yourself. How do you join a group of strangers who are already talking to each other without breaking those two rules that you were brought up to obey?
"Don't talk to strangers" and "Don't interrupt when others are talking"
First remind yourself that this is a networking event, you are a grown up now and that talking to strangers is the whole point of the event. Everyone is expecting it although many find it as hard as you.
Second, I am eternally grateful to my early Referral Institute training for giving me this simple tip; it was a revelation to me. It is OK to interrupt someone if you follow a few simple universal group rules.
It all hinges around the body language of the group members and the concept of closed and open groups. Take a look at the picture above to guide you.
If you look carefully at the groups of people talking at a networking event, you'll notice that some have closed their group, which means "keep out, we're deep in a private conversation". No matter how many people are in the group, or what direction you approach them, their backs are towards you.
Now look at the other groups. They are open to having others join them. They have left a space (or spaces) to add to their numbers. Doesn't that look a bit more welcoming and easier to go and fill that space?
"However, don't rush in with your agenda!"
Just join in, listen to what the conversation is about and when appropriate add your own comments. The others will most likely smile and introduce themselves.
If you have joined that group to talk to a particular individual then don't ignore the others in the group. It can be all too easy to turn an open group of three into a closed group of two and offend someone greatly in the process.
Remember that closed group you couldn't join? Keep your eye on them if you really want to speak to one of them. They may well move from closed to open when they have finished the private part of their conversation. Watch for the space to appear as this is a great time to go across and introduce yourself.
What about if you are already in a group? If you want to meet lots of people then be welcoming and keep your group open. If someone new joins, you can step out a bit and leave room for others to come along too.
Also, look out for the person who is on their own. They might just be watching the room as you did in order to decide who to join. On the other hand they might be as lost as I was and be grateful to you for welcoming them!
It takes a bit of skill to learn to read the room in this way, to join in appropriately and to open and close your groups depending on who you are with. It's worth the effort as you will soon get known as someone to talk to and a great mixer.
Suddenly these events will not be so daunting as people will automatically gravitate towards you. Then you can relax and actually enjoy getting to know a whole room full of new people.
So my referral tip this week is: at the very next networking event you go to, stand back for a moment and practice reading the room to judge whether to join a group or not. If you know most of the people in the room, look out for someone who is on their own and give them a helping hand to join in too.
"Now why don't they teach you this stuff
at school?"
If you have further questions about your networking and would like to take it up to the next level then why not give me a ring on 07970 638857 or click here to ping over an email and let's arrange to meet up soon.
Until next time ...
JACKY SHERMAN
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