Don't Change Just Because Everyone Else Is
If it works, you don't need to fix it ...
Posted by Jacky Sherman on 13/09/2023 @ 8:00AM
Here's a thought. Blogs, articles, email based sales messages from gurus and so called experts, even things like TED talks are all entreating you to try something new, better, the latest fad that industry leaders are using ...
We're all chasing that magic bullet that will somehow give us the edge, make us rich, more successful, better leaders or better people. Everything is about change, change, change.
"Maybe it's time to stop and re-group?"
Were the old, familiar, tried and tested ways of working and being really not good enough for you? Do they really not apply anymore just because we have the Internet now?
There is a learning model I've used for the last 11 years and it asks three key questions that are worth answering before you jump onto the latest bandwagon, technological or otherwise.
Are you doing things RIGHT?
In other words, are you following the rules or procedures that will make this work? For instance, we all know that to make a sale we should listen to what the customer wants, don't we? So are you a skilled listener? Are you listening to what the person is really saying to you or are you figuring out what to say next whilst sounds come out of their mouth?
Of course, if you don't know how to do something properly in the first place you may not know you're getting it wrong! It's worth checking with someone who is skilled to correct your technique. Using the example above. Who do you know who is a skilled listener? Who listens to you?
Are you doing the RIGHT things?
Sometimes we get stuck in a loop repeating our mistakes. Ever find yourself saying "he never answers my emails"? Then you spend loads of time trying to write better emails with snazzy subject lines. You try to guess when he'll open it and schedule it to arrive 10 minutes before. And guess what? he doesn't answer those either! Maybe next time give him a call? Find out if he prefers texts? Or even send him a letter? (a bit radical that last one).
Sometimes it can be hard to notice your own patterns. Many of them lie in your subconscious (not a new idea, honestly). How about getting some help to gain new insights - one of those 'aha moments'? My favourite quote from one of my clients has always been "the blindingly obvious I haven't been doing!" Any coach worth their salt will tell you that these kinds of insights can clear most obstacles in your path.
How do you decide what is RIGHT?
The simple answer to this is what is right is what works best for whatever you’re trying to achieve.
The complex answer takes into account that there is rarely one way of achieving this and a million ways of getting it wrong. The “right” one in any instance depends on the context in this particular situation and how you feel about it. And how you feel about it reminds us that whilst we believe we are being purely rational actually our maverick unconscious brain is way ahead and influencing that choice. Let’s take the simple example above of getting someone to answer your emails.
The context and what you want to achieve is different. Are you’re are frustrated by the MD you have been wooing all year for a fat contract and now everything is lined up ready to sign he’s suddenly not responding to your emails or taking your calls. That’s very different from your friend who is notorious for not getting back to you quickly with some dates for a coffee and a catch-up.
Why is email so important to you as the route? Is it getting the information the real outcome you need? What are the alternatives, What is so important about it being email? I can hear you in my head giving lots of alternatives. If I had a room full of consultants, chances are each one of you would give a different opinion on which was best: Which one was “right”.
If we delved a bit deeper into your choices then your past experience of what had worked for you before would come out as would your relationship with the other person. Your beliefs in how others “should” behave might make you persist in sending emails until you got a response. A lovely example of your unconscious hi-jacking the outcome you want, Now the outcome is getting “the old so and so” to reply rather than winning the contract or knowing which cafe to turn up to on what day and time. Equally you may fear that the MD has had a change of heart and is not going to sign up and you would rather not hear yet another rejection in person.
We could build a range of scenarios here but I hope you’ve grasped the idea. Deciding what is right for you takes some thinking through. It is a good idea to test it out on a range of different people. Take care to listen to people who challenge you as well as your fans.
My tip for you today is this: Before you clamour, all helter-skelter, for the next big change, bright idea or business gismo, just check how well you are doing what you've already decided to do. Then find yourself an advisor or coach who will act as your sounding board and is skilled enough to challenge you to find the optimum right way of addressing the issues that frustrate you and prevent you achieving what you want from your business.
Until next time ...
Would you like to know more?
If anything I've written in this blog post resonates with you and you'd like to discover more, it may be a great idea to give me a call on 07970 638857. Let's have an initial chat over a coffee and see how I can help you.
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