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Jacky Sherman

The Consultant's Consultant

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Your Behavioural Style Affects Who Refers To You

People refer those who they know, like and trust ...


Posted by Jacky Sherman on 22/05/2024 @ 8:00AM

So you are far more likely to get referral from people who are like you. The problem with this is that about 75% of the population are not like you! They have a different behavioural style; and one of those people who you struggle to get to know, like and trust might be just the person who knows lots of your ideal clients ...

The Platinum Rule is a trade mark of  Dr. Tony Allessandro and is used with permission

The Platinum Rule is a trade mark of Dr. Tony Allessandro and is used with permission


Learn to treat people the way they want to be treated. This doesn't mean trying to be someone different, it means just adapting your style to be closer to the person you want to influence. It also means understanding that they just have a different style and are not completely mad, stand-offish, unemotional or rude.

"They just express themselves in a different way to you!"

The diagram above shows you a simple grid for assessing a person's style. People tend to be either fast or more measured in their pace of decision-making and acting. They also tend to be either task or people-orientated.

So, if you're fast-paced and the other person is more measured, slow down a little and don't be too pushy. Equally, if you're measured in your pace and the other is fast-paced, speed up, be prepared to make quicker decisions and take action.

If they like to focus on the task, they forget the social niceties of family and what you did at the weekend. On the other hand, if they like to socialise first then be prepared to share a bit about your life and take an interest in what they did at the weekend.

Look at the image above. I'm a promoter. Fast-paced and people-orientated. This means I make quick decisions about people and love to connect them together. I think I'm in the right job, don't you?

On the other hand, I can be a bit of a, butterfly and often forget to explain how I reached the conclusion that someone was a good connection for you. What seems obvious to me is a mystery to others.

  • Landscaper: "So, why did Jacky think it was a good idea for us to meet?"

  • IT consultant: "I've no idea!"

So, with people who are more measured, I have to reign myself in, give them more information and leave them space to take in and digest one bright idea before I have the next one. For those more task-orientated than me, I must remember to focus on why we are meeting and stay on the topic.

A tip for more measured people is this: I know lots of people and love to introduce you, so if you don't see the value of the connection ask me to explain! Like many promoters I have the attention span of a gnat; if you want me to stay focused on you rather than move on to new friends then pay me lots of attention and help me to do the follow-up.

I will reward you with lots of great business opportunities you never knew you had.

Until next time ...



Would you like to know more?

If anything I've written in this blog post resonates with you and you'd like to discover more about your own behavioural style, do give me a call on 07970 638857 and let's see how I can help you.

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