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Jacky Sherman

The Consultant's Consultant

07970 638857


Some Great Tips On Giving

And not just at Christmas either ...


Posted by Jacky Sherman on 20/12/2023 @ 8:00AM

Giving is the heart of the Christmas message and all over TV and social media. The shops are full of suggestions and entreaties on how to give to those in need or to affirm our love for those near to us ...

Giving is not just for Christmas, you can do it all year round!

Giving is not just for Christmas, you can do it all year round!

copyright: aizram18 / 123rf stock photo

From my perspective, it is also fundamental to our method of building a sustainable business. Summed up in the phrase Givers GainĀ®. This phrase was coined by Ivan Misner and became central to my practice and teaching with Asentiv.

"Have a simple strategy!"

Give wherever you can, just because you can. Giving is a reward in itself. It also seems a little uncomfortable to have a strategy only to give to receive. However, do apply a little self-preservation as looking after yourself means you will be in a better position to continue giving to others.

My rule is to give first and then wait and see how the other person responds. That doesn't mean you expect a quid pro quo, what to look for is that they are appreciative and give forward i.e. give to others.

And why wait for Christmas? Giving is a crucial part of every relationship so spread it out across the year. Get into the giving habit. Why not have the rule to give something to someone every day?

"Give a little often and keep it personal!"

Giving every day may seem excessive if you focus purely on the grand gesture. A quote from John Ruskin reminds us that, "A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money." These little things often count for more in a relationship as long as they are thoughtful and relevant.

Here's a somewhat disquieting example drawn from my early coaching experience. After an initial session, I set my client homework to do something different with someone he knew. He reported back to me that when buying petrol, as he went to pay, he bought his girlfriend a chocolate bar as well as one for himself.

I don't know who was more stunned; his girlfriend or me! But thinking about it, whilst that seems extreme, how many times do we do the same with people? How many working relationship flounder because people only make their own cup of tea in the office? Or at home come to that?

"Give your attention!"

Every interaction you have with others is an opportunity to give large and small. Yet a common cry I hear is, "I don't know what she wants" or, "I don't know what he needs". My first thought is, have you been paying attention?

It's the first thing you can give. Listen to what they are saying and ask relevant questions to check understanding. What you can do for them will emerge from that conversation.

Two examples are drawn from experience:

  • A horror story. This man never became my client. He was moaning about networking not getting him results and how he hated the banal conversations people had. He just wasn't interested in what was happening in their world. And guess what? They weren't interested in his world either!

  • A success story. During a large-scale redundancy programme, my client spent time listening to two colleagues talk through their concerns and worries about what they were going to do next. Two years later when both were firmly established in new roles, they repaid him for those conversations with strong referrals.

And finally, let's go back to the beginning and take another look at the strategy of Givers GainĀ® A crucial part of successful giving is enabling others to give back. We started this blog post with a simple strategy to give because you can.

"Do people the honour of allowing them to apply
the same strategy to you!"

Relationships are about reciprocation, and they blossom when both sides gain. Make it easy for others to help you. Those conversations where you're paying attention are more powerful when you reach the points of common interest, as that is where you can help each other the most.

In the words of Maya Angelou, "When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." Have a lovely Christmas, and I look forward to seeing you all again in the New Year.

Until next time ...



Would you like to know more?

If anything I've written in this blog post resonates with you and you'd like to discover more, it may be a great idea to give me a call on 07970 638857. Let's have an initial chat over a coffee and see how I can help you.

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