Some Great Tips On Giving
And not just at Christmas either ...
POSTED BY JACKY SHERMAN ON 19/12/2018 @ 8:00AM
Giving is at the heart of the Christmas message and all over TV and social media. The shops are full of suggestions and entreaties on how to give to those in need or to affirm our love for those near to us ...
Giving is not just for Christmas, you can do it all year round!
copyright: aizram18 / 123rf stock photo (licensee)
From my perspective, it is also fundamental to our method of building a sustainable business. Summed up in the phrase Givers Gain®. So in the spirit of the times and our beliefs, I thought I’d share with you my top giving tips you can apply to any part of your life as well as your business.
"Have a simple strategy!"
Give wherever you can, just because you can. Giving is a reward in itself. It also seems a little uncomfortable to have a strategy only to give to receive. However, do apply a little self-preservation as looking after yourself means you will be in a better position to continue giving to others.
My rule is to give first and then wait and see how the other person responds. That doesn't mean you expect a quid pro quo, what to look for is that they are appreciative and give forward i.e. give to others.
And why wait for Christmas? Giving is a crucial part of every relationship so spread it out across the year. Get into the giving habit. Why not have the rule to give something to someone every day?
"Give a little often and keep it personal!"
Giving every day may seem excessive if you focus purely on the grand gesture. A quote from John Ruskin reminds us that, "A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money.” These little things often count for more in a relationship as long as they are thoughtful and relevant.
Here’s a somewhat disquieting example drawn from my early coaching experience. After an initial session, I set my client homework to do something different with someone he knew. He reported back to me that when buying petrol, as he went to pay, he bought his girlfriend a chocolate bar as well as one for himself.
I don’t know who was more stunned; his girlfriend or me! But thinking about it, whilst that seems extreme, how many times do we do the same with people? How many working relationship flounder because people only make their own cup of tea in the office? Or at home come to that?
"Give your attention!"
Every interaction you have with others is an opportunity to give large and small. Yet a common cry I hear is, "I don’t know what she wants" or, "I don’t know what he needs". My first thought is, have you been paying attention?
It’s the first thing you can give. Listen to what they are saying and ask relevant questions to check understanding. What you can do for them will emerge from that conversation.
Two examples drawn from experience:
A horror story. This man never became my client. He was moaning about networking not getting him results and how he hated the banal conversations people had. He just wasn’t interested in what was happening in their world. And guess what? They weren’t interested in his world either!
A success story. During a large-scale redundancy programme, my client spent time listening to two colleagues talk through their concerns and worries about what they were going to do next. Two years later when both were firmly established in new roles, they repaid him for those conversations with strong referrals.
And finally, let's go back to the beginning and take another look at the strategy of Givers Gain® A crucial part of successful giving is enabling others to give back. We started this blog post with a simple strategy to give because you can.
"So do the people the honour of allowing them to apply the same strategy to you!"
Relationships are about reciprocation, and they blossom when both sides gain. Make it easy for others to help you. Those conversations where you’re paying attention are more powerful when you reach the points of common interest, as that is where you can help each other the most.
In the words of Maya Angelou, "When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed." Have a lovely Christmas, and I look forward to seeing you all again in the New Year.
Until next time ...
More about Jacky Sherman ...
I help people build and maintain productive working relationships both with their work colleagues and with a wider network to win more business. I do this by combining my skills in coaching, mediation and training with my extensive experience in senior management.
What I love most about my work is when my clients get those “aha” moments because I know they have seen for themselves the way that they want to move forward. Then they will achieve their ambitions.
Helping people who are having challenges with their working relationships gives me enormous pleasure. It was my privilege when working in health care to see how people working together can make the impossible seem easy and accomplish miracles as a result.
So helping people build or restore strong relationship with their colleagues makes even the hardest work easier, alleviates distress for the individual and reduces problems for the whole organisation.
In all this work trust is an essential ingredient to winning business so most of my work comes through referrals. Referrals come through strong business relationships so it was a natural extension for me to work with Ascentiv and train others in how to get consistent and predictable referrals from their network.
What a fantastic way to earn a living!
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