People Skills Are Good For Your Health As Well As Your Pocket
Do you have high social intelligence?
POSTED BY JACKY SHERMAN ON 30/11/2016 @ 8:00AM
One of my favourite sensations is that moment when I catch my husband's eye across a crowded room and we both know what the other is thinking. The feeling is visceral ...
Having good people skills means you have high social intelligence!
copyright: sasamihajlovic / 123rf stock photo
It's a sharp punch of physical pleasure that comes from being in tune with each other. I expect you've had a similar experience with someone; I do hope so. We also get sensations of pleasure relating to other people when we know them well, feel comfortable with them and can trust them.
"These are the people we want to be around and who want to be around us!"
Some people seem more adept at this than others and we usually say they have good 'people skills'. Or as Daniel Goleman, amongst others, puts it, "they have high social intelligence."
Some times you may have experienced people who are low in this ability. They suffer from social tone-deafness and, on the receiving end, you feel it as frustration and they leave you feeling physically uncomfortable.
Now from a business point of view, it helps to build the positive rapport with people that will give them sensations of pleasure and enjoyment from being in our company and relating to us at this satisfying level. These are the people who buy from us, support us and help us in our daily life and refer us to others.
"Increasingly, neuroscience has shown that as humans, our brains are wired for sociability!"
It seems obvious, doesn't it? After all, we are social animals and none of us would get very far without relying on others. The new scientific techniques also demonstrate that getting those positive punches of feelings as we relate to others affects our long term health.
Those physical feelings are the real impact of the outpouring of chemical transmitters in our brains. I'm going to return to Daniel Goleman's quote on this:
"This represents a double-edged sword: nourishing relationships have a beneficial impact on our health, while toxic ones can act like slow poison in our bodies."
Now, all of us find some people easier to relate to than others, even when we espouse to the same value of honesty and integrity. It's usually a matter of style, how we present ourselves and the precedence we give to some things rather than others.
It is easier to relate to others who are like us than those who present themselves differently. Those who have high social intelligence are those who can adapt to these differences and relate to people on their wavelength, speak their language and notice the commonalities and value the differences that people bring to our interactions.
They may be just the individuals who can help us in our business and as we're always going to have interactions with them, we might as well give them a pleasurable sensation rather than a toxic one.
My tip for you this week:
Take some time out to expand your own social intelligence. What makes you tick, how are your relating to others and how can you start to talk in the same language as those around you, make stronger connections and feel at ease with people of all types who can help you in business?
Over the next four weeks on my blog, I'll give you some further insights into different behavioural styles and how you can build stronger more meaningful relationships with people who are very different from you.
"It will be good for your health as well as your pocket!"
Make sure you see these by signing up to my mailing list and receive them in your inbox each week. Already know you need to know more? Click here to book your place to develop your social intelligence skills with international expert, Sarah Owen.
Until next time ...
More about Jacky Sherman ...
I help people build and maintain productive working relationships both with their work colleagues and with a wider network to win more business. I do this by combining my skills in coaching, mediation and training with my extensive experience in senior management.
What I love most about my work is when my clients get those a-ha moments because I know they have seen for themselves the way that they want to move forward. Then they will achieve their ambitions.
Helping people who are having challenges with their working relationships gives me enormous pleasure. It was my privilege when working in health care to see how people working together can make the impossible seem easy and accomplish miracles as a result.
So helping people build or restore strong relationship with their colleagues makes even the hardest work easier, alleviates distress for the individual and reduces problems for the whole organisation.
In all this work trust is an essential ingredient to winning business so most of my work comes through referrals. Referrals come through strong business relationships so it was a natural extension for me to train others in how to get consistent and predictable referrals from their network.
What a fantastic way to earn a living!
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