Jacky Sherman

The Consultant's Consultant

07970 638857


Jacky Sherman

Your Behavioural Style

Affects who refers to you ...

Posted on: 24/04/2013   By: Jacky Sherman

People refer those who they know, like and trust. On the whole we tend to like and trust people who are similar to ourselves. Those people who act - and react - like us and have things in common are those we automatically click with ...

The Platinum Rule is a trade mark of  Dr. Tony Allessandro and is used with permission

The Platinum Rule is a trade mark of Dr. Tony Allessandro and is used with permission

So you are far more likely to get referral from people who are like you. The problem with this is that about 75% of the population are not like you! They have a different behavioural style; and one of those people who you struggle to get to know, like and trust might be just the person who knows lots of your ideal clients.

My tip today is use the Platinum Rule™ by Dr Tony Allessandro. Learn to treat people the way they want to be treated. This doesn't mean trying to be someone different, it means just adapting your style to be closer to the person you want to influence. It also means understanding that they just have a different style and are not completely mad, stand-offish, unemotional or rude. They just express themselves in a different way to you.

The diagram above shows you a simple grid for assessing a person's style. People tend to be either fast or more measured in their pace of decision making and acting. They also tend to be either task or people orientated.

So if you're fast paced and the other person is more measured, slow down a little and don't be too pushy.

Equally if you're measured in your pace and the other is fast paced, speed up, be prepared to make quicker decisions and take action.

If they like to focus on the task, forget the social niceties about family and what you did at the weekend.

On the other hand if they like to socialise first then be prepared to share a bit about your life and take an interest in what they did at the weekend.

Look at the diagram. I'm a promoter. Fast paced and people orientated. This means I make quick decisions about people and love to connect them together. I think I'm in the right job don't you?

On the other hand I can be a bit of a butterfly and also can often forget to explain how I reached the conclusion that someone was a good connection for you. What seem obvious to me is a mystery to others.

  • Landscaper: "So why did Jacky think it was a good idea for us to meet?"

  • IT consultant: "I've no idea!"

So with people who are more measured, I have to reign myself in, give them more information and leave them space to take in and digest one bright idea before I have the next one. For those more task orientated than me, I need to remember to focus on why we are meeting and stay on the topic.

A tip for more measured paced people is this: I know lots of people and love to introduce you, so if you don't see the value of the connection ask me to explain! Like many promoters I have the attention span of a gnat; if you want me to stay focused on you rather than move on to new friends then pay me lots of attention and help me to do the follow up and I will reward you with lots of great business opportunities you never knew you had.

If you now think it may be a great idea to learn more about your own behavioural style and that of others, then discover how to adapt to match them then do call me on +44 (0) 7970 638857 or click here to ping over an email and I'll get straight back to you.

Until next time ...


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07970 638857