Nurturers: Loyalty, Trust And Plain Good Manners
The power of being quietly caring ...
Two managers I worked with had fallen out after working together amicably for many years. They got to the stage where they wouldn’t be in the same room together. Imagine what that was like for their teams ...
Nurturers will always take the time to get to know you, but are intensely loyal!
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Changes in the company meant they had got really busy. One of them, a Go-Getter (see my blog of two weeks ago), had stopped adding 'Hi Chris' and 'Regards Jim' to his emails to his colleague, purely to save time.
"This had incensed Chris!"
He read this as, at best, just bad manners and, at worst, that Jim was ordering him about. Chris is an example of my third category of behavioural styles: a nurturer.
Nurturers are lovely people to have as friends, colleagues and as business contacts. They quietly focus on looking after others and take the time to get to know you and check you out thoroughly. Once they feel confident that they can trust you, they are intensely loyal and will go out of their way to help you.
As Jim discovered, forgetting the courtesies and taking them for granted will eventually provoke a reaction and it can be difficult to recover the relationship.
I don’t know where I would be without the nurturers in my network. They are not prolific referrers, but each introduction is carefully thought through to match us up correctly.
"I get the feeling they have listened to me as there's no time wasting or vague possible leads!"
So here’s a message to all the nurturers reading this, a little personal advice in getting the best out of the rest of us. Can I just say that despite our different approach to business and relationships, I really do appreciate the help you can give me? Thank you for taking the time to get to know me before judging me.
I need to move at a faster pace than you, so I may ask you to speed up a bit. If that makes your feel pressured, my intention is to get a result, not to bully or pressure you. Dig deep and find the resolve to tell me firmly what you can and what you cannot do at present so that I don’t make you feel taken for granted.
I respect direct talking and call a spade a spade. To me, that isn’t rude it’s about honesty and I know you’ll appreciate that. Make sure that I am hearing your needs too, sometimes it can be difficult to get you to tell me how I can help you in return.
Understanding your own behavioural style and how it differs from others can stop you inadvertently offending others. Equally, it can stop you rejecting others when they haven't meant to offend you.
"Would you like to know more?"
If you want to learn more how you can use this information to build deep and productive relationships, come to my workshop on 26th April and learn from people who have differing styles to you.
Until next time ...
I help people build and maintain productive working relationships both with their work colleagues and with a wider network to win more business. I do this by combining my skills in coaching, mediation and training with my extensive experience in senior management.
What I love most about my work is when my clients get those “aha” moments because I know they have seen for themselves the way that they want to move forwards. Then they will achieve their ambitions.
Helping people who are having challenges with their working relationships gives me enormous pleasure. It was my privilege when working in health care to see how people working together can make the impossible seem easy and accomplish miracles as a result.
So helping people build or restore strong relationship with their colleagues makes even the hardest work easier, alleviates distress for the individual and reduces problems for the whole organisation.
In all this work trust is an essential ingredient to winning business so most of my work comes through referrals. Referrals come through strong business relationships so it was a natural extension for me to work with Ascentiv and train others in how to get consistent and predictable referrals from their network.
What a fantastic way to earn a living!