What is the theory of social learning?

The theory of social learning explains how people learn by observing and imitating the behaviors of others around them.

How can we motivate ourselves to adopt certain behaviors?

We are most likely to adopt behaviors that we perceive as effective or valuable, whether we have experienced them ourselves or seen them in others.

How does the Law of Reciprocation apply to referral marketing?

The Law of Reciprocation states that when someone does something for us, we feel obligated to do something for them in return. In referral marketing, this means that by giving high-quality referrals, we are more likely to receive high-quality referrals in return.

How does the author use social learning in their work with clients?

The author models the behaviors they want their clients to adopt, surrounds their clients with successful networkers, and uses peer learning to add variety and adapt techniques. They also measure behaviors and success to keep clients motivated and confident in their referral skills.

Referral Marketing: Gain Mastery By Copying Others

CREATED BY JACKY SHERMAN

Published: 23/07/2025 @ 09:01AM

#ReferralMarketing #LearnedBehaviour #BusinessGrowth #ItStartsInChildhood #BehaviourModelling

One sunny day, when my son was about 4 years old, he'd been naughty, and I was telling him off. I suddenly noticed that he was copying my hand gestures, body language and facial expressions. When he saw my realisation, he burst into a big smile and giggled ...

Referral marketing, learned behaviour, grows trust and thrives

I'd recognised who he was practising to be. You guessed it: "Mummy, when she's cross!" And that's because when we are children, we learn a whole repertoire of behaviours from others around us, and we carry on learning this way throughout our lives.

It's how we learn to fit in, how we embody the culture we live in
and learn most of our skills, which develop into our habits!

So now my son is thirty, and I hear my words and see my gesticulations whenever he's cross about something. He learnt well. And his mother learnt something that day too: That children learn from our behaviours what we're not teaching them.

There is a whole literature around this called the theory of social learning, but three points stand out for me:

Model the behaviours that we want others to copy on a consistent basis.
The behaviours we are most likely to copy are those that hold our attention, as we have to be consciously watching and perfecting the skill.
To motivate ourselves, we must perceive the outcome as effective. It doesn't matter whether we have experienced it ourselves or seen it experienced by the others.

I suspect my son saw some real value in the outcome that I got in making him behave by telling him off. That day, he certainly put an awful lot of effort into perfecting the 'telling off' skills I had modelled for him!

This style of learning is now embedded in the way I work with my clients. It is central to help them achieve mastery in referral marketing through the Law of Reciprocation.I model the behaviours I want my clients to adopt. I model best practice in referral marketing to generate my own clients, which means my clients get constant opportunities to observe the skills I teach.

The emphasis is always on giving high-quality referrals. That way, my clients' referral sources are habitually exposed to referral giving, and, as they are the recipients of these great business opportunities, they are motivated to adopt that behaviour. I surround my clients with others whom I have worked with before and who are now successful networkers.

I call it a referral community!

The more each person witnesses good referral behaviours, the more they are likely to try them themselves. As a bonus, peer learning adds variety, as each person adapts the techniques to their circumstances, which others can then try out.

I hold their attention to ensure learning. An awful lot of what I teach is simple social behaviours; what one of my clients called "the blindingly obvious I haven't been doing".

I work with my clients over an extended period, coaching them to be aware of the impact their behaviours are having on others and to consciously observe and practice practical skills. I call it immersion.

My clients have access to a range of workshops, events and one-to-one coaching over the time they work with me. This enables them to learn in the style and at the pace that suits them. Then the behaviours become "the blindingly obvious I am doing!"

I also measure behaviours and success to keep my clients motivated. It isn't easy to switch your time from promoting your services to promoting the services of others regularly. However, success is a great motivator, so I measure my clients' victories by working out who is referring them high-quality prospects.

More importantly, I also measure what
behaviours produced that success!

And this avoids any finger-wagging along the way, so my referral tip for you this week is to invest in learning the right skills to give high-level referrals and model these consistently, encouraging others to emulate your behaviour and refer back to you.

Until next time ...

JACKY SHERMAN
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